Are You a Sailing Fanatic?

We sailors are prone to being a tad obsessive about our passion. Some, it must be said, are guilty of taking themselves a little too seriously. If you're of that ilk you should read no further.

For everyone else, read on and enjoy a chuckle...

You know you're a sailing fanatic when...

  • you call 'Starboard!' on roundabouts and slip roads;

  • you say 'over' in telephone conversations;
  • you use fenders in car parks;
  • you tack up hills;
  • you find yourself humming 'Sailing By' (only UK sailors will understand this one!);
  • you think pilots are books;
  • Genoa doesn't mean a city in Italy;
  • you think 'tell-tales' are good to have around;
  • you knot your tie with a round turn and two half-hitches;
  • you think sex should be followed by tant;
  • you think 'painting her bottom' isn't just a personal thing;
  • you'd have no qualms about rolling around on a Galway Hooker;
  • you wouldn't have a tender behind if you hadn't hooked up with the painter;
  • you only use the sea cock if you think no-one's looking;
  • you've caught a roach in your mainsail;
  • you think breast ropes should be compulsory for non-compliant women;
  • you know that baggywrinkle doesn't need cosmetic treatment.

  • you'd like to haul a yankee up the forestay;

  • a properly dug-in anchor isn't just a fluke;
  • you know a barber hauler isn't an instrument of torture for bad hairdressers;
  • you need another pint at the bitter end;
  • you can't fathom out metric charts;
  • you don't wince at the thought of ground tackle;
  • you know that loose talk won't scandalise the main;
  • sweating and tailing is no bad thing;
  • you go to your local Spar Shop and come back with a spinnaker pole;
  • a true bearing isn't just a class thing;
  • the cabin sole smells like fish;
  • being 'off soundings' isn't an aversion to farts;
  • a knot in your stomach is cured by a bight of rope;
  • you think gaff-rigged boats are nothing more than an embarrassing error;
  • you think Chinese junks belong in land fills;
  • you wonder why 'yawls' are so frequently referred to by Texans


Dick McClary's book 'Offshore Sailing' is published by the RYA (Royal Yachting Association).

If you like what you read on these pages, you're sure to enjoy my book 'Offshore Sailing'.

Published by the RYA (Royal Yachting Association) and with a foreword by Mike Golding of Vendée Globe fame, it contains much of the information on this website and more besides.

So if you wish to get your hands on a copy, and have been unable to beg, borrow or steal it elsewhere, you might just have to...

Buy it Here!



Got any of your own sailing fanatic examples you'd like to add?

Just click in the Comments box below and type them there!


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